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Page 1 of 5 (665) - Who needs a therapist ... I have my sister (min 2)
| (664) - I have seen the future and I'm going back to bed (min 2 )
| (667) - National Sarcasm Society - Like we need your support! (min 2)
| (668) - Yes, Beer qualifies as an appetizer (min 2)
| (689) - Come to the Dark Side ... we have cookies! (min 2)
| (681) What happens in the garage ... stays in the garage (min 2)
| (677) - I'm sick of being my wife's arm candy (min 2)
| (678) - I'm tall and you're not ... nah, nah, nah, nah, nah (min 2)
| (680) - Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons ... for you are Crunchy and Good with Ketchup (min 2)
| (673) - No one ever suspects the short ones (min 2)
| (674) - Don't listen to my sister ... I'm the favorite (min2)
| (675) - Just another "Poo Flingin" day at the zoo (min 2)
| (676) - Mom likes me best! (min 2)
| (669) - Still plays with Tractors (min 2)
| (670) - Just be happy I'm not a twin! (min 2)
| (671) - I'm putting my money in something that never loses it's value ... Beer (min 2)
| (672) - You probably don't recognize me without my cape! (min 2)
| (682) - Will talk cars with anyone (min 2)
| (684) - In wine there is wisdom. In beer there is freedom. In water there is bacteria! ( min 2)
| (685) - I like poetry, long walks on the beach and poking dead things with a stick (min 2)
| (688( - When the Queen is Happy ... there is Peace in the Kingdom (min 2)
| (666) - I'm retired...go around me! (min 2)
| (686) - I'll have a caffe mocha, vodka, valium, latte to go please (min 2)
| (687) - My sister has the Best Sister in the world (min 2)
| (585) Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway! (min 2)
| (692) - We're so excited to see you we don't know whether to pee on the floor or tear up the couch (min 2)
| (588) When you're right no one remembers...when you're wrong no one forgets (min 2)
| (587) Sorry I'm late...I'll leave early to make up for it. (min 2)
| (584) Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died (min 2)
| (582) Of course there's no reason for it, it's just our policy! (min 2)
| (586) If there's a will...I want to be in it! (min 2)
| (583) What are the 3 words quaranteed to humiliate men everywhere...Hold My Purse! (min 2)
| (581) Children - You spend the first 2 years teaching them to walk and talk...then the next 16 telling them to sit down and be quiet! (min 2)
| (693) - So far this is the oldest I've ever been (min 2)
| (694) - Yo fish ... Bite Me! (min 2)
| (695) - I've stopped listening ... why have you not stopped talking?! (min 2)
| (696) - Danger Mouth operated faster than brains (min 2)
| (697) - Just shut to hell up! (min 2)
| (698) - If you met my family, you'd understand! (min 2)
| (699) - Easily distracted by shiny objects (min 2)
| (700) - Hard times call for hard liquor! ( min 2 )
| (701) - The Queen is not amused! ( min 2 )
| (702) - Diplomacy The art of telling someone to go to hell and have them look forward to the trip ( min 2)
| (703) - I didn't do it! ( min 2 )
| (704) - If I'm talking you should be taking notes ( min 2 )
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Features
(100) - My house doesn't always look like this, sometimes it's worse! (min 2)
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